merry xmas

Well, my computer's been fixed for a while, and I've been kinda coasting through December, trying to take it easy. I know I keep forgetting to post to this blog, but I'll go ahead and make a new year's resolution to post at least once a week.

Some holiday observations I'd like to make are:
1. Wii Points are great in abundance.
2. The establishment caused Yule to jump the shark, and in fact Yule originally had nothing to do with Xmas.
3. I've declined to call it Christmas, since ironically enough, it originally had nothing to do with the birth of the Christian messiah whose name needs no introduction or mention.
4. Sweets are good to eat, but not as good as meats and cheeses (with a little spot of wine to wash it down, preferably red).
5. 2009 may not be a lousy year for wine, but it was an abysmal year for your humble blogger.

the good, the bad, and the ugly

So yeah, I had to give this post a very cliché name because I feel all three of those things. And now to tell you why...

The good: Somebody out there was giving away free stuff, and I happened to stumble onto it. He just happened to have an Atari 7800 with two games and all the hook-ups and I snagged it. He mailed it to me and it just arrived today. Yay for retro gaming goodness!

The bad: I tried to upgrade my best computer the night before last and now the damn thing won't turn on at all. I tried reseating the memory chips, making sure the power connections were tight, and I even tried putting the original memory chips back in, still no go. So I guess I'm either gonna have to get a power supply or a motherboard replaced. I hope it's not the motherboard, because those are a pain in the ass.

The ugly: Also the night before last, I mysteriously developed a sore throat. Two days later, I'm now sick. And of course it had to be the same night my computer decided to stop working. I've been coughing up loads of phlegm and my parents keep asking me how I feel, because obviously they think the answer's going to change if they keep asking me. I keep telling them I feel like crap, but they just never learn. So anyway, yeah, I've got some holiday bug that's probably going around.

Well, that's about it.

respect your fellow gingers

Woe to gingers everywhere: in some schools throughout Canada, redheads of all shapes and sizes are being kicked because of some aborted bastard fetus of an idea called "Kick a Ginger Day" which is supposed to take place on November 20th. Some kid came up with the idea to kick gingers after watching an episode of South Park.

It's as if humanity is TRYING to prove it can, in fact, get dumber with each passing day, or something. If this kid who had gotten the idea had paid attention through the entire episode, he or she might have learned a valuable lesson about discrimination. In fact, nowhere in that episode is the kicking of gingers even mentioned!

Here's how the episode goes in case you haven't seen it: Eric Cartman makes a presentation about gingers that casts them in a negative light (something about them not having souls, or whatever), which Kyle immediately takes offense to, because he thinks Cartman's a little asshole, which he is, but it's supposed to be funny within the context of the show). Cartman also makes a distinction between full-blown gingers and people like Kyle who he refers to as "daywalkers", which apparently means they don't have to stay out of the sunlight like full-blown gingers (yeah, again, none of this is my idea, I'm just telling you how the episode goes). After that, all the redheaded children at South Park Elementary begin to get discriminated against, even though nobody likes Eric Cartman (doesn't make sense to you either, eh? I thought so).

So Cartman eventually gets a trick played on him and is turned into a faux ginger. Kyle points out the irony of him ripping on ginger kids, and then ending up as one. Cartman naturally misses the irony (sorta like the kid who thought up Kick a Ginger Day, you see). Then Cartman gets discriminated against along with the other redheaded kids, and comes to rally the ginger kids against all non-gingers. Yeah, things get pretty stupid for a while and Cartman is about ready to kill off everybody who isn't a redhead until Kyle reveals to Cartman that he's not really a ginger after all. Cartman, having no exit strategy for what can only be a second stroke of irony, tells the ginger kids maybe they should all learn to love one another instead of killing. Cartman, being the asshole that he is, only said all of that to get out of being killed himself, as a non-ginger. It becomes clear that he learned no valuable lesson, which Kyle confirms near the end. Anyway, the end of the episode comes, no one got hurt, and no gingers got kicked at all.

But it seems clear that Cartman wasn't the only one who missed learning a valuable lesson. Somebody watched that episode and came up with a new holiday idea called "Kick a Ginger Day". That somebody, being fourteen years old and very immature, had no other reason to do it other than to vent gratuitous violence onto the innocent. If this idea had come by me in my high school years, I'd have had to stand up for one of my friends who happened to be a ginger by the definition of the word. Nobody would have been kicking him on MY watch.

Anyway, to wrap up this post, I say don't kick your fellow ginger, respect him (or her), because you never know when some idiot will come up with Kick a Non-Ginger Day. And please, for the love of science, try to come up with ideas for holidays that don't involve the abuse of others.

be sure to drink your ovaltine

6-24-3 21-23-24-22 22-14-9-4 18 10-9-23-4 2-4-9-23-16, 18-4-2 26-11-24-26-19-11 22-14-24 19-11-9-5-11 6-24-3 14-9-23-13-18-23-13 9-15-4-11-25 6-24-3 4-9-19-21 4-24 4-14-11-20, 9-23-16 4-14-11-23 4-14-11-6 4-11-19-19 6-24-3 4-14-11-6 22-18-19-19 13-11-4 12-9-10-21 4-24 6-24-3 9-23-16 4-14-11-23 4-14-11-6 19-11-9-5-11 6-24-3 14-9-23-13-18-23-13. 22-14-9-4 18-2 22-25-24-23-13 22-18-4-14 26-11-24-26-19-11 4-14-11-2-11 16-9-6-2? 16-18-16 10-24-3-25-4-11-2-6 9-23-16 11-4-4-18-1-3-11-4-4-11 13-24 4-14-11 22-9-6 24-15 25-9-16-18-24 2-11-25-18-9-19-2, 24-25 22-14-9-4? 18 16-24-23-4 15-3-10-21-18-23-13 3-23-16-11-25-2-4-9-23-16 22-14-6 18-23 4-14-11 2-26-9-10-11 24-15 9 22-11-11-21 2-24-20-11-24-23-11 10-24-3-19-16 23-24-4 4-11-19-19 20-11 9 2-18-20-26-19-11 10-18-26-14-11-25 15-25-24-20 2-24-20-11 25-9-16-18-24 26-25-11-20-18-3-20.

9-19-2-24, 6-24-3 21-23-24-22 22-14-9-4 18 10-9-23-4 2-4-9-23-16, 9-25-11 4-14-24-2-11 4-14-9-4 26-3-4 3-26 24-25 26-24-2-4 11-8-10-19-3-2-18-5-11 10-24-23-4-11-23-4 4-14-9-4 24-23-19-6 10-11-25-4-9-18-23 18-23-2-18-16-11 20-11-20-12-11-25-2 10-9-23 9-10-10-11-2-2 19-18-21-11 18-4-2 2-24-20-11 5-11-19-5-11-4-6 25-24-26-11 4-14-18-23-13. 22-14-18-10-14 18 13-3-11-2-2 20-9-21-11-2 4-14-18-2 11-23-4-18-25-11 26-24-2-4 24-23-11 12-18-13 11-8-9-20-26-19-11 24-15 18-25-24-23-6.

9-23-6-22-9-6, 12-11 2-3-25-11 4-24 16-25-18-23-21 6-24-3-25 24-5-9-19-4-18-23-11.

a post rife with pop culture references

There are some completely useless conclusions a person that grew up saturated with pop culture can reach:

1. Elmo is the Scrappy Doo to the rest of the Sesame Street Muppets' Mystery Gang.
2. Encyclopedia Brown, the kid with an incredibly apt name, and Leroy Brown, the baddest man in the whole damn town, are in fact (or as in fact as fictional characters can be) the same person.
3. Asking Megan Fox about her right thumb, and asking her if she's sick of people asking about her right thumb, are both highly ironic questions.
4. As an atheist, I think the depiction in the Spawn universe of God and Satan as two very angry children is perfect.
5. This recession blows.

go fuck yourselves, mpaa

I'm not sure exactly what the situation is in other countries regarding the motion picture industry, but here in the United States, there's a group of people called the Motion Picture Association of America which imposes self-declared control over our country's motion picture industry (with the help of major Hollywood studios). It's a monolithic organization that has two major duties, in order of least evil to most evil.

Their least evil task is to crack down on movie piracy by litigating against people who bring cameras to movie theaters and point them at the canvas to make bootleg copies of the movies (because apparently the studios aren't making enough money from either box-office sales or theater concession kickbacks). But their most evil task is controlling whether you can see a movie, and indeed, whether a movie can even be shown, by their rating system.

Oh sure, the theory seems innocent enough. Parents who want to find out if a movie is appropriate for their children and who are too busy to do actual research on the film simply need consult the film's rating, and they know in a very off-hand way if the movie's appropriate or not.

Unfortunately their ratings system more powerful in practice. The least-given rating to a movie is NC-17, and for good reason: not only do you cut out kids from ever seeing the movie while it's in the theater, but many theaters won't show the movie at all. Even more unfortunately, the line between R and NC-17 is vaguely defined, and you can count on the MPAA to NOT explain where that line falls. Many people (myself included) simply ignore the ratings system and judge the movie on its merits (good or bad). Also, they don't tell the movie producers any specific reasons why they gave a movie the rating they did. So a conversation between them could go like this:

PRODUCER: Hi, I'm producing this movie.
MPAA: Yes, we know. We gave your movie an NC-17 rating.
PRODUCER: But why?
MPAA: Because fuck you. That's why.

Look, here's all you really need to know about their stupid movie ratings.

Rating	What the MPAA claims it means	What it REALLY means
G	It's perfectly safe for kids.	This movie was either made by Disney, or it was so old we couldn't be bothered to research it fully.
PG	It seems safe for kids, but they might be confused by it.	It's okay for kids, we just needed another rating between G and PG-13 to add to your confusion.
PG-13	It's safe for the older kids, but you might want to keep the youngins at bay.	This movie is not only too violent and/or nude for the little children, but it's also not violent or nude enough for adults.
R	This isn't really appropriate for kids, but it's probably okay for the older teens in your household.	It's got plenty of blood, gore, and violence, but nary a single boob, because violence is better?!
NC-17	This is only appropriate for adults.	We gave this movie too high a rating for you to see it, and there's nothing you can do about it, so there. Nyah.
NR	We haven't gotten around to giving this a rating yet.	We're still looking for reasons to give this movie a higher rating than necessary. Either that or it's some independent film that didn't get submitted, but we know theaters won't take a chance on it. Mwahahahahahaha.

The most important thing you need to know about it is this: you should find time to do research on a movie, and not trust a monolithic group of people like the MPAA to do your parenting for you.

on irc channels and misanthropy

I haven't posted anything in a while, because not much of anything has happened...but here we go. Whatever you do, don't go onto IRC unless you know the people there. They are just as likely to step into your neck as say hello to you. It's a place where people go to become misanthropic douchebags. I just had a particularly idiotic experience in #c-64 on IRCnet. Seriously, have the concepts of "treating someone fairly" and "not being an asshole" been lost to the internet and IRC in particular? I mean, I get pissed off at the world too, sometimes. I need a place to vent, and I can understand others and the desire to express their inner asshole. But if I went around punching the shit out of everybody who I thought was incredibly stupid or a complete douchebag, I'd have pretty worn-out fists by this point. My point is, there's a concept called "restraint" that keeps people from becoming enemies with everybody else. Try using it sometime, douchebags.

whatever you do

Never go into a chatroom and tell people "this is the part where you tell me to get a life". You will *never* hear the end of it. Hoo boy.

one fortnight later

I like pie.

me no feel so good

Okay, so apparently somebody gave me a cold. My nose is running, and I'm coughing and sneezing. It's times like these in which I wish the environment was a bit more hygienic, and filled with a lot fewer viruses. Why do viruses even exist, anyway? They seem to be some sort of permutation of DNA-carrying machine that evolution invented to thin the numbers of humans. But aren't there other things, like raspberry ants, that need their numbers thinned more? I'm also a little bit concerned that I might not be getting enough vitamin C. I don't know what the symptoms of scurvy are, but I do know that the foods I've been eating aren't very good sources of the stuff. Oh well, if it comes to it, I'll just have to get some supplemental tablets. To summarize, I feel like crap.

reverse-engineering as a form of masturbation

Someone I know online compared reverse-engineering to masturbation, stating that they were both as equally productive. After giving it some thought, I'm not sure that I disagree. There is some satisfaction to be had in the mental exercise of plugging away at someone else's code to figure out how it works. But is it really not productive? Well, I believe the reason I do it, other than for fun, and a playful mental exercise, is also for learning. It's true - in the past several year or two that I've reverse-engineered code, I've learned to approach problems of crafting algorithms for doing all sorts of things on computers and game consoles in many different ways. I like to think it has also helped my skills of investigation: some trickier portions of code I've had to look elsewhere and try to tweak things like entry variables and registers to get a grasp on what the code accomplishes.

on mice, keyboards, and wii remotes

So I typed in this post and part of the last one with a Wii remote (called a Wiimote by people who like puns and getting hit really hard), and I must say...the Wiimote sucks major ass for typing. This thing with its innate ability to point and click at the screen, makes a fairly decent mouse, but an abysmal keyboard. Honestly, a pair of Atari keypads would have made a better showing (imagine typing with one of the pads like on a cell phone). Sadly I do not at this writing have a USB keyboard to plug in to the back of my Wii console...and to be honest, doing so seems only slightly less cumbersome than simply using an actual computer like people are used to. Having said all of this, I do appreciate Opera's efforts to allow us Wii users the ability to surf the Internet without having to always boot up a computer all the time.

M*A*S*H ponderings

One of the TV shows I like to watch is M*A*S*H. If you've never heard of it, it's about the experiences of a fictional crew of doctors, nurses, and staff at the equally fictional Mobile Army Surgical Hospital number 4077. Anyway there was this one episode where B.J. Hunnicutt grows weary of Benjamin Pierce, aka Hawkeye, talking about how much of a better prankster John "Trapper" McIntyre was when he was there. So he makes a bet that if B.J. can successfully "get" everybody currently sitting at that table (they're in the mess tent at the time) with pranks, that Hawkeye has to take his pants down and sing "You're The Tops". And if he fails, B.J. has to do it instead. Well, B.J. manages to get *almost* everybody except of course, Hawkeye, who loses part of his sanity that night guarding himself against whatever horrible finale B.J. has reserved especially for him. He wakes up the next morning only to find that all the people that allegedly got pranked were in fact only pretending to be pranked, and were actually in on B.J.'s plan to pull the ultimate prank on Hawkeye, "the one that never happened." So Hawkeye ends up being the one taking down his pants and singing "You're The Tops" in the mess tent. Now this is the part that bugs me. The official bet was to see if B.J. could get everybody in that group, and Hawkeye *was* considered to be in the group. But by B.J.'s own admission, Hawkeye was the only one who actually got "got". That would mean, based on the conditions set forth in the wager, that B.J. failed, because technically, he only got one person. And so Hawkeye still won the bet (despite being taken down a few pegs). Why didn't the writers of this episode notice that?

on sleepaway camp and gratuity

So I had the grand privilege of watching an oldie from back in my younger years, Sleepaway Camp II, and it's sequel Sleepaway Camp III (which I did not see back in said younger years. My thoughts on the various death scenes was varied. Some were cruel and sadistic, some were almost funny and others were just meh. My favorite deaths between the two films were Judd (he gets slashed in the throat and takes the longest seven seconds of his life to die), Ally (damn, you so fine, girl, even when you drowning in leeches and whatnot), Tawny (was that sound in the background the sound of the inside of her skull being baked by all those chemicals she snorted?), and Peter (throws one firecracker too many at Angela, then gets his face blown off while he's asleep...this one made me laugh, Snowboy's screaming made it even funnier). Yeah, I get to thinking about Ally from the second film though, a lot. She was definitely very hot, and if I were in that universe, I'd definitely fuck her until she couldn't remember her name. Even when her number was up and she got shoved down that toilet, I just couldn't stop thinking about how hot she was. In fact, give me a moment and...oh...there we go...oooh...uuuuuunnnnnnnggghhh...yeah. :-)

on equipment and ac adapters

Why can't people ever seem to keep together all the pieces that come with something, like a piece of computer equipment? I was trying to connect two computers through a router today but apparently the person who had it last decided not to store the AC adapter the router came with in the same place as the router itself. I swear, when people don't understand simple common sense things like this, it really irks me.

up yours, liskula cohen

Liskula Cohen is a self-centered, narcissistic, litigating bitch who's causing law to take a big, steamy crap all over the First Amendment by suing anonymous bloggers for expressing their opinions. And if she thinks she's gonna get any money out of me for THIS posting, she's floating waist-high in her own delusions. Oh, and if she was worried about damaging her reputation BEFORE, this libel-crap (the blogger was expressing her opinion, which would have been obvious to anyone with half a brain) that she's wasting New York taxpayers' time with has guaranteed it now.

some random thoughts cobbled together

I wish that Nicalis would release some Wiiware already. Have you tried these boneless barbecue chicken tenders? I hope they don't give me constipation. I wonder how I should go about playing turns on a certain online game. I wish humans could make vitamin C. When the crap is Gamestop gonna update their sweepstakes winners list? I feel like one of their many job applicants that they've failed to call back with a yes/no answer to. I need more music to listen to.

floyd lamb state park

I went to the place that I just mentioned in the title with my family. My mom asked me why all the geese like to follow each other. I jokingly replied that they wanted to have all their "ducks in a row".

so i started a blog

So the title of this post. Yeah, I went ahead and finally did it. Maybe I'll be the next internet phenomenon, maybe I'll just be yet another introvert whose postings amuse no one.