respect your fellow gingers

Woe to gingers everywhere: in some schools throughout Canada, redheads of all shapes and sizes are being kicked because of some aborted bastard fetus of an idea called "Kick a Ginger Day" which is supposed to take place on November 20th. Some kid came up with the idea to kick gingers after watching an episode of South Park.

It's as if humanity is TRYING to prove it can, in fact, get dumber with each passing day, or something. If this kid who had gotten the idea had paid attention through the entire episode, he or she might have learned a valuable lesson about discrimination. In fact, nowhere in that episode is the kicking of gingers even mentioned!

Here's how the episode goes in case you haven't seen it: Eric Cartman makes a presentation about gingers that casts them in a negative light (something about them not having souls, or whatever), which Kyle immediately takes offense to, because he thinks Cartman's a little asshole, which he is, but it's supposed to be funny within the context of the show). Cartman also makes a distinction between full-blown gingers and people like Kyle who he refers to as "daywalkers", which apparently means they don't have to stay out of the sunlight like full-blown gingers (yeah, again, none of this is my idea, I'm just telling you how the episode goes). After that, all the redheaded children at South Park Elementary begin to get discriminated against, even though nobody likes Eric Cartman (doesn't make sense to you either, eh? I thought so).

So Cartman eventually gets a trick played on him and is turned into a faux ginger. Kyle points out the irony of him ripping on ginger kids, and then ending up as one. Cartman naturally misses the irony (sorta like the kid who thought up Kick a Ginger Day, you see). Then Cartman gets discriminated against along with the other redheaded kids, and comes to rally the ginger kids against all non-gingers. Yeah, things get pretty stupid for a while and Cartman is about ready to kill off everybody who isn't a redhead until Kyle reveals to Cartman that he's not really a ginger after all. Cartman, having no exit strategy for what can only be a second stroke of irony, tells the ginger kids maybe they should all learn to love one another instead of killing. Cartman, being the asshole that he is, only said all of that to get out of being killed himself, as a non-ginger. It becomes clear that he learned no valuable lesson, which Kyle confirms near the end. Anyway, the end of the episode comes, no one got hurt, and no gingers got kicked at all.

But it seems clear that Cartman wasn't the only one who missed learning a valuable lesson. Somebody watched that episode and came up with a new holiday idea called "Kick a Ginger Day". That somebody, being fourteen years old and very immature, had no other reason to do it other than to vent gratuitous violence onto the innocent. If this idea had come by me in my high school years, I'd have had to stand up for one of my friends who happened to be a ginger by the definition of the word. Nobody would have been kicking him on MY watch.

Anyway, to wrap up this post, I say don't kick your fellow ginger, respect him (or her), because you never know when some idiot will come up with Kick a Non-Ginger Day. And please, for the love of science, try to come up with ideas for holidays that don't involve the abuse of others.

be sure to drink your ovaltine

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9-19-2-24, 6-24-3 21-23-24-22 22-14-9-4 18 10-9-23-4 2-4-9-23-16, 9-25-11 4-14-24-2-11 4-14-9-4 26-3-4 3-26 24-25 26-24-2-4 11-8-10-19-3-2-18-5-11 10-24-23-4-11-23-4 4-14-9-4 24-23-19-6 10-11-25-4-9-18-23 18-23-2-18-16-11 20-11-20-12-11-25-2 10-9-23 9-10-10-11-2-2 19-18-21-11 18-4-2 2-24-20-11 5-11-19-5-11-4-6 25-24-26-11 4-14-18-23-13. 22-14-18-10-14 18 13-3-11-2-2 20-9-21-11-2 4-14-18-2 11-23-4-18-25-11 26-24-2-4 24-23-11 12-18-13 11-8-9-20-26-19-11 24-15 18-25-24-23-6.

9-23-6-22-9-6, 12-11 2-3-25-11 4-24 16-25-18-23-21 6-24-3-25 24-5-9-19-4-18-23-11.

a post rife with pop culture references

There are some completely useless conclusions a person that grew up saturated with pop culture can reach:

1. Elmo is the Scrappy Doo to the rest of the Sesame Street Muppets' Mystery Gang.
2. Encyclopedia Brown, the kid with an incredibly apt name, and Leroy Brown, the baddest man in the whole damn town, are in fact (or as in fact as fictional characters can be) the same person.
3. Asking Megan Fox about her right thumb, and asking her if she's sick of people asking about her right thumb, are both highly ironic questions.
4. As an atheist, I think the depiction in the Spawn universe of God and Satan as two very angry children is perfect.
5. This recession blows.